By Kevin Michael Murphy(Actor-Voice Teacher)
- Gay marriage is legal in New York...yay!
- Midget strippers
- New York has a state fair?
- Have you become a hick?
- What about the strippers?
Contrary to popular belief, I don't know much about cows, pigs, and tractor pulls. Before this weekend, my knowledge of state fairs was limited to Charlotte's Web, the R&H movie musical "State Fair," and the episode of Oprah where her and Gayle go to the Texas State Fair and eat fried butter.
Having experienced The Fair, I now consider myself an expert on all State Fairs, and will spend the following blog post convincing you why you should choose your state's fair as the destination for your next gay bachelor party.
The Fair, located in Syracuse, NY, is setup like a poor man's Epcot Center. There are a variety of pavilions separated by interest. As you enter, you are herded and counted.
This sculpture made entirely out of butter was made to promote healthy eating habits for children. (i.e. not eating butter)
Who has two thumbs and loves wine slushies...this guy.
Stop and eat something. It will be fried. My favorite thing I saw was a fried bacon wrapped Snickers bar. I, however, opted for pulled pork nachos instead. If you have vegan friends, kindly request they don't attend, because they will starve. After you eat, you will feel sick. Have another wine slushie. It won't make you feel better, but it will be delicious. Then:
Go visit the cows. There may or may not be an adorable child sleeping in their poop
Kick the cow poop off of your flip flop, pretend you aren't a stuck up metropolitan type, and look around:
While participating in the ancient sport of people watching, do not sing the Tailspin theme song to passerby furries.
The gods really do love Nubia.
You come to the fair a jaded New Yorker, but you leave the fair a jaded New Yorker who got to spend a hilarious day you'll never forget with some of your best friends in the world.
KEVIN MICHAEL MURPHY is a voice teacher at NYU Steinhardt in addition to having his own studio in Midtown, Manhattan. Kevin is also the creator/host of the critically acclaimed concert series "If It Only Even Runs a Minute," and can be found hosting his weekly show, "The Village Gate's Old Fashioned Piano Party" every Sunday at the Gallery at Le Poisson Rouge. Kevin is also an actor, having appeared in a bunch of Off-Bway, NYMF, Fringe, and workshop productions.www.TakeNYCVoiceLessons.com
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