My parents were big pushers of the "Do the right thing" "If someone asks for your coat give them your shirt too" and "Take the high road" propaganda. There was no limit to how shitty someone could be and my mom would still tell me to "Be the change you want to see in the world;" she was assuming the change I wanted to see was not hiring some wranglers to beat the shit out of my offenders.Turning the other cheek often amounts to a lot of bruising but I still think it's the right thing to do. Not because being "good" is necessarily "right" but because being good really annoys the other person.
-By Leah Bonnema (Stand Up Comic)
I have written a few pieces for a series of posts titled "Affirmations for the Dark Soul" - they are for people who are allergic to positivity, are wary of happy thoughts and have a general distrust of bettering their life and thinking about good energy.
A valuable lesson from the Cobra Kai: No Mercy doesn't bring home the trophy
I used to always want to do the right thing because I was afraid of not being good in the existential sense. I was so pent up and frustrated feeling like I always tried to work hard, be nice to people who lashed out at me and was never thanked or even acknowledged for the large amount of metaphorical doors I have held open for others.
Though I fight against it I need to be good. I need to because it's a part of my chemical make-up, because it's what I think is right, because I have to live with myself, my choices, actions and my integrity. I just had to find a different way to think about it so I didn't feel like a victim and get so pent up that I drop a deuce on someone's desk.
I felt you needed to see this. I don't think it's what my mom meant. But I like it.
Here is how I turn turning the other cheek into something that works for me: I do it so I win. I do it so when said person who lashed out at me goes to bed at night they know they were shitty and I didn't sink to their level. They can hate me all they want to, they can hire someone who is less competent but is friends with their dad and they can not say thank you when I hold the elevator for them, but I know and they know, that they are miserable, empty and friendless because my therapist said so.
Be Compassionate: It forces people to look at their shitty behaviour when you don't act like them!
Positive Affirmation of the Day for the Consummate Pessimist:
- Do unto others so they have nothing to do but stew in their own shit.
- Turn the other cheek because sometime, somewhere, nasty people will get their comeuppance and you may have the wonderful opportunity to see it, or at least hear about it on Facebook it. Then you can "like" it.
- Take the high road in public so mean people look like a huge asshats in front of others. At home feel free to talk mad shit.
- Do the right thing because when karma comes back around you'll have every right to laugh, loudly and for a copious amount of time, because you have a clean conscience.
And always know that if you do the nice thing on a regular basis you are allowed to then flip the switch every now and again, as illustrated by Dolly in 9-5 "I've been forgiving and forgetting because of the way I was brought up but I'll tell you one thing...I'm gonna get that gun of mine and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen in one shot!" I don't support gun violence, but I just watchd 9-5 (it's streaming on Netflix) and my new goal is to quote Dolly at least once a week for the following month, she's a national treasure.
Leah Bonnema is a Stand Up Comic. www.LeahBonnema.com
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