WHAT THE SALVATION ARMY AND REGINA GEORGE HAVE IN COMMON

By RSO

Have you ever noticed the Salvation Army's tagline? In case you've forgotten:

Doing the Most Good.  It always strikes me as super silly.  It says to me: "We know there are other charitable organizations out there, but we are the best, betch."

And for a Christian Charity organization, it feels a little, well... un-Christian.

It says, praise God from whom all blessings flow, but he flows the most for us.

He's got the whole world in his hands, but he put us on top.

Jesus loves the little children, but nope, still loves us more.

It's like if all the big charities got together, The Salvation Army would give Goodwill the stank face and be like:

Girl, we gooder than you.  Mm!

It reminds me of a time at NYU when a faculty member and an older student, who'd both recovered from cancer, got into an argument during class about whose tumor was better (worse).

There are some things you just shouldn't argue about. 

So to you, Salvation Army: stop with the competing and go back to what you do best... taking money and ignoring gay people.

RYAN SCOTT OLIVER wrote the music and lyrics for Darling, Mrs. Sharp, 35mm, Jasper in Deadland and is currently at work on Freaky Friday for Disney Theatricals. www.ryanscottoliver.com
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Comments

[Loren A. Roberts (guru of multi-hyphenate media)]

Ha! "Girl, we gooder than you."

To be fair, the phrase sounds better in its original context: Evangeline Booth (the "mother" of the US version of The Salvation Army) wrote, right after World War 1: "There is no reward equal to that of doing the most good for the most people in the most need." The four-word tagline doesn't pack the emotional punch of the original.

(Don't know if Ms. Booth ignored gays too...I would hope not.)

The tagline is old. Any good marketer would tell you that it is time to update the silly thing. I think it's been in use since at least 2005 -- an eternity in the marketing world.

[camping gear]

Major Doug Binner, of the Salvation Army, asks people to donate their soon-to-be discontinued pennies on Friday, March 30, 2012 in Regina, Sask. The money will go to help feed 50 Coronation Park Elementary School students.