Crazytown

Part One of Two of my newest play, Death Valley DQ.
By Brett Ryback

10 minutes is a long time in the theatre. There's a saying for writers: if the audience doesn't know what the show is about in the first 10 minutes, something's wrong. These precious first 10-15 pages are where we meet our world, our protagonist(s), and the conflict of the show. Everything else will hinge on those ingredients.

Now imagine an entire play in 10 minutes.

To create a world, protagonists, and conflict in the midst of a beginning, middle, and end is an interesting challenge. That, coupled with the fact that 10 minute play contests abound in this country, was the reason I wrote Death Valley DQ.

Death Valley DQ received its first staged presentation at American Globe Theatre's 18th-Annual 15-Minute Play Fest, where it was awarded Honorable Mention for Best Play. The presentation was directed by Brendan Naylor. The role of Jo was played by Melissa van der Schyff; the role of Hank was played by Victor Hernandez; and the role of Luna was played by Andrea Ross.

It also recently receieved 3rd Place in the McClean Drama Company's 10-Minute Play Contest, and will have a reading at the Woolly Mammoth Theatre Rehearsal Hall in Washington, DC, this coming fall.

• • •

DEATH VALLEY DQ
A Ten-Minute Play

By:
BRETT RYBACK

Cast of Characters

Luna, a bright 17-year-old Latina.

Jo, a 33-year-old woman, slightly worn-down.

Hank, a 40-something businessman; overweight.

Time and Place

A Dairy Queen in Baker, California.
April, Early Evening.

Lights rise on a Dairy Queen counter. LUNA is wielding a cone. JO, also behind the counter, watches, holding a folded newspaper. HANK, wet with perspiration, waits for his ice cream.

LUNA
I thought you were Bobby Hernandez when I saw you coming up.

HANK
What’s that?

LUNA
I thought you were Bobby Hernandez. He’s this boy, goes to my school. He’s ‘sposed to come in today to ask me to the Prom.

HANK
Ah.

LUNA
He’s got the same truck as you. ‘Swhy I thought you were him. I been waitin’ all day.

HANK
Well, prom! Big deal. I’m sure he’s on his way if he’s got any brains about him – nice young lady like you.

JO
Don’t keep him waitin’ now, Luna.

(She begins making the cone.)

HANK
Oh, no wait, no wait. Only makes it taste better, right? Lots of customers today?

LUNA
Nope! First one.

JO
Probably the last one, too.

LUNA
(Sharply.) We’re still open for ten more minutes, Jo.

JO
I know that.

HANK
I just love ice cream. People think vanilla’s boring, but my wife Susie and I never could resist a vanilla cone from DQ. (LUNA hands him the cone.) Thanks. Doctor says we shouldn’t eat it, but what does he know, right?

LUNA
How come you shouldn’t eat it?

JO
Luna.

HANK
Oh, well – high blood pressure.

LUNA
What’s that?

JO
It’s something you get when you become an adult.

LUNA
Like what – a driver’s license?

HANK
That’s right. A stress license. A worry license.

LUNA
An ice cream license.

HANK
That’s right!

LUNA
You gotta get it down a lot before you go outside otherwise it’ll melt. Hot day like today.

JO
Gonna be a scorcher this summer. April this warm.

LUNA
Last year it was 115 degrees in July. Nobody came in that day.

HANK
You get a lot of people flocking through here? On their way to Vegas and what not?

JO
Mostly we catch em on the way back.

HANK
On the way back?

JO
Used to be more. Less people takin’ chances these days, I guess. That where you headed?

HANK
Vegas? Yeah.

JO
Pleasure?

HANK
No.

JO
Business?

HANK
Not really, no. (A beat.) People, er…people stay and talk usually? Or just – y’know – just get the ice cream and go?

JO
Depends, I guess.

LUNA
Lots of people like to stay inside cuz we keep the A/C up real high.

HANK
(He nods.) I’ll bet. (A beat.) You didn’t…you didn’t see a woman come in here in the last couple days by any chance? Dark brown hair? Real…real pretty? ‘Bout your height or so?

JO
I …uh, it doesn’t really ring any bells.

HANK
Yesterday, maybe? She drives a real distinct car. Pink corvette – like Barbie, y’know? Kinda hard to miss.

JO
I haven’t seen anyone like that. Sorry.

HANK
(To LUNA.) Maybe you remember that? She mighta come in with a guy. Few years younger than me, I guess.

LUNA
(She looks to JO.)
Uh…I don’t…I don’t know.

JO
Like you said – hard to miss a car like that.

HANK
Yeah. I thought maybe she’d have stopped to get some ice cream.

(No one says anything for a beat. Then.)

JO
Well, that’ll be two-oh-three.

HANK
Oh, okay. Right. (He pats his pants.) Dang it. Left my, whatchamacallit –

LUNA
Oh, that’s okay. On the house, right, Jo?

JO
Well –

HANK
No, no, I’ll just run and –

LUNA
No, here. I’ll take care of it.

HANK
No –!

LUNA
Yeah! It’ll be good karma or something. Really. It’s no biggie.

HANK
(To JO.) Is that –?

LUNA
It’s totally fine.

HANK
Well. That’s very nice of you. Thank you. Well. Take care now.

JO
Yep. (HANK EXITS.) Good luck.

(JO goes back to searching the paper. LUNA looks on for a bit.)

LUNA
I really did think it was Bobby Hernandez coming up. Krystal Madison told me he was gonna come into the DQ today to ask me to go with him.

JO
He’s sure waitin’ long.

LUNA
He probably didn’t want it to be too busy.

JO
Would’ve thought it’d be busier today, I guess. Last day we’re open and all.

LUNA
(A beat.) Hey, how come you didn’t tell that guy?

JO
Tell him what?

LUNA
About that lady with the car? Isn’t she staying at the Wallace motel? She was in here yesterday.

JO
Not our place to interfere.

LUNA
But if he’s looking for her –

JO
We don’t know the story, Luna. Some people don’t want to be found.

LUNA
Why not?

JO
All sorts of reasons. C’mon, let’s start cleaning up.

LUNA
It ain’t seven, yet! We got five more minutes at least.

JO
It’s just cleaning up.

LUNA
Bobby’s never been here before cuz he’s on the wrestling squad so it’s not good for him to eat ice cream. He only eats taffy. But he doesn’t actually eat it. He just chews on it and then spits it out. One time I sat at his table in the cafeteria and he told his teammates not to spit cuz there was a lady present. That’s when I first knew he liked me. No boy’s ever called me a lady. I mean, except my dad, but he’s old.

JO
You think he likes you cuz he called you a lady and didn’t want to spit in front of you? That just sounds like manners.

LUNA
Well, and he started talking to me after church. At Our Lady of the Desert. Cuz I joined the youth choir, y’know? I think he liked my singing. He told me he didn’t even know we went to the same school before that. He was just kidding though. We’ve had like two classes together before. You wanna see him?

JO
Sure. (LUNA pulls up a picture of him on her cell phone.) Big guy.

LUNA
He’s gonna go to Victor Valley college to wrestle. (She stares at the picture.) I been watchin’ for him all day.

JO
Four more minutes, okay?

To be continued...

BRETT RYBACK wrote the music for Liberty Inn (Ovation Nominee, Best Music/Lyrics), the book music and lyrics for The Tavern Keeper’s Daughter, and the book for Darling. He also acts on stage and TV. www.btryback.wordpress.com
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Death Valley DQ is available for licensing. If you are interested in attaining the performance rights, please contact the playwright directly at btryback@gmail.com.