Crazytown

Who's ready for the Olympics and half-naked men?
By Melissa Presti (Book Publisher)

Right now, whether you know it or not, the USA is literally balls deep in speedos at the swimming Olympic trials in Omaha, Nebraska. I fully admit that I’m live-streaming the preliminary races this morning instead of contributing any work ethic to society.

I officially announce and ordain myself as your official 2012 London Olympics Crazytown Correspondant for a few reasons:

For the last year, I planned to be in London for the games and then I remembered I’m poor/my awful friends have summer weddings.
I was a competitive swimmer for ten years and America gives approximately one shit about the sport every 4 years. It’s our time!
I already spend a considerable amount of time Google-imaging shirtless athletes and now I have a reason to exploit my discoveries.

Now, I realize the sports category on Crazytown is a little non-existent, but I promise to only bring you the most newsworthy headlines once the Olympics get underway on July 27^th…like an athlete’s age/height/hometown/availability. Maybe slightly more involved.

Since I’m watching swimming and you’re picturing men in speedos, let’s get to it. This year it’s all about the Michael Phelps vs. Ryan Lochte showdown.

Who are they?

Michael Phelps

Phelps won an unprecedented 8 gold medals in Beijing in 2008, has a total of 16 Olympic medals, and he needs only 3 more medals to tie/4 medals to become, the winningest athlete in Olympic history – completely doable, and expected of him. He’ll turn 27 this week, he’s 6’4”, his home base is Baltimore, and up until this weekend he was sporting a fu Manchu mustache (gross). He's single, but his last girlfriend was Miss California so good luck with that.
Fun fact: he put his Olympic rings tattoo on his hip.

Ryan Lochte

Lochte is a six-time Olympic medalist and poised to make London his bitch. From Gainesville, FL he stands 6’2”, will turn 28 during the Olympics, his hero is Lil’ Wayne, he wears metal grills on the podium, is known for his chillaxed personality, injures himself from break-dancing/skateboarding/falling out of trees, he's a model on the side, and has a larger shoe collection than Carrie Bradshaw. Clearly, my favorite. He's single (get in line).
Fun fact: put his Olympic rings tattoo on his bicep.

Between the two, Michael Phelps is hands-down my hero. His accomplishments have done more for the sport of swimming than any athlete before him. But Lochte is my guy for 2012…he beat Phelps twice during the 2011 World Championships, even setting the first world record since high-tech swimsuits were banned from the sport in 2010 (likened to doping). That’s right, this Olympics won’t show men zipped up in full bodysuits, we’re talking straight up Speedo-town. Enjoy. Still to be determined by the trials, both men will be facing off in several events. More to come!