WRITING IS PAINFUL, TRADER JOE'S CAN HEAL THAT PAIN

Bonemma's Obamacare article inspired this blogger to blow off writing, finally wash her kitchen floor and go to Trader Joe's...It's that good. 
By Bernadette Pauley (Comedian) 

Last week's Crazytown post OBAMACARE BECAUSE I CARE by Leah Bonnema was such a great read for me I figured I should just throw in the towel. Why bother posting when such a great post existed? Whether you are completely for Obamacare or are one of those people who enjoy posting Obama-as-Hitler pictures on Facebook, you just have to admit it's well written because of it's depth and honesty. If you absolutely despise Obamacare you'd think twice before you gave a shot at refuting her argument (she's all for it) because it's so well constructed.  

Ms. Bonnema is an extremely gifted comedian/writer. More importantly, she's not too hard on the eyes.

Most standup comedians can tell you that this feeling of "why bother" will creep over them once, maybe twice a year. You're waiting to perform and someone will get up on that stage and just blow audience, comedians and staff away with a perfectly constructed and executed 'set'. They will leave all witnesses to their time on stage changed by a mixture of passion and precision, pretty much raped by their funny. Then all of the other schmucks up at bat are left feeling "I got nothin'." Except, of course, the usual overly confident / under talented fuckwads. There's always one or two of them at any given venue who are totally indifferent.  

 In Los Angeles the fuckwad / legit talent ratio is far higher than other parts of the country

 I now realize the "why bother" phenomenon must occur in all of the arts; writing, painting, dance etc. Duh. Of course it does. And it's a good thing because "why bother" germinates and mutates into inspiration. After the initial "Wow, that's awesome. Wow, I can't do that. I could never do that, so why am I wasting my time and everyone else's?" comes "Well, maybe I could do my own version of that, something different but far reaching, just as relevant." Followed by the horrifying notion, "Shit. I have to really work at this. Shit." 

Michelangelo's 'Last Judgement' in the Sistine Chapel. Try following THAT. Why do you think Van Gogh went batshit crazy?

So now I'm stuck here, forced to face all of the topics I've been dying to write about. This is excruciating, but I suppose it will take some of the burden off of My Man. He's forced to listen to my outraged ramblings every day the moment my morning coffee kicks in. Wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

My Own Worst Enemy, aka Me

I am utterly obsessed with group dynamic. I'm sure this is why I'm a comedian. Class, sex, race, pack mentality, false consciousness, etc. If it bored you to death in a 10th grade sociology class it was making my mind race even before I knew it had a label. Oooooh, and I just love moral outrage! I am morally outraged 3 - 5X a day! This is just fabulous, SO many topics to cover! So, where do I start? 

Next week. I start next week. Right now the weight of my reponsibility to write a meaningful post is just far too heavy. I need to clear my head in the cheese section at Trader Joe's.

 

My personal writer's retreat. I am not procrastinating here. Also, I am the new queen of Scotland.

After that, there are about seventeen strains of strepococcus on my kitchen floor I'll take care of with a good mopping...I wonder if I own a mop? I may have to hit Target too. 

BERNADETTE PAULEY is a standup comedian, actor and TV host appearing this Saturday on TV Guide channel's 'Standup in Stilettos'. www.BernadettePauley.com EMAIL HER |  FACEBOOK | TWITTER | OTHER POSTS BY THIS AUTHOR

Comments

[Leah B]

Bernie - I am so incredibly flattered I can't express it.. Thank you and I love this post (not just because it mentions me-hahaha!) but you make great points and I love the 'why bother' discussion! Also just watched Revolver last night - a tad tedious but in the end it has some really good points about the ego. ALSO - I scrubbed my floors yesterday.

[Bernadette Pauley]

Thanks Leah, glad you liked it! I'm afraid if we remain fans of each other's work, we'll never get on a reality TV show. So sad. I don't believe women are allowed to get along on reality TV.

[GenericWahlberg]

I thought that I would take the time out of my incredibly hectic day of diapers and bottles to tell you both that I just love you ladies.Sure Leah many never be able to afford good health insurance,new underwear or a larger cage for R2D2 and sure you may never get the streptococcus up off your floor,a decent latte or a zipper for your bacon package but what you two ladies do have is balls. That's right, huge freshly shaved ones. The ability to write, perform and execute great material is an art form.I expect to see you two on the TV soon..
SO I suppose that I will take off this diaper,put the beer down and go find a stage somewhere that I can make people laugh... On second thought,my diaper is dry and I have a few more beer so why bother.
Love an over confident untalented Fuckwad
: ) MUAH

[Bernadette Pauley]

Wow Generic Wahlberg, I'm so happy you enjoyed the article and that your diaper is dry! You could never be a fuckwad, I'm sure. Thanks for reading and commenting!

[GenericWahlberg]

You are so very welcome : ) please feel free to tweet me whenever you write another article!

[Bernadette Pauley]

Thanks GW, will do!