I've always wanted to use a Britney Spears lyric as a title for one of my blog posts and now the dream has come true. But in all seriousness, I've got a confession to make...
By Geoffrey Kidwell (actor)
I’m crazy.
To be clear, I’m not the kind of crazy that walks up and down Broadway screaming at a person who isn’t there or the kind of crazy that does nasty things to puppies and kittens or even the kind of crazy who – God forbid – buys Adam Lambert records.
No.
Along with realizing that I might be a little loco en la cabeza, I also came to an understanding that my craziness, my sensitivity, my need to perform – to plumb the depths and the heights of human emotion – is actually a virtue.
It’s a great power to possess.
But, as they say, with great power comes great responsibility.
I’ve lived in New York for five years now and I recently turned thirty.
I’m not exactly where I want to be. I haven’t had the career success I want and I haven’t been great at taking advantage of all this city has to offer.
And I have no one to blame but myself.
I’ve taken a great talent and turned it into a weapon that I have used, pretty much exclusively on…
Myself.
Instead of going out into the world and using my powers to create, I turned everything inward.
When I ought to have been preparing for an audition, I was busy telling myself I wasn’t good enough.
Instead of working on my triple pirouette, I decided to tell myself I was too old to ever really have a career as a dancer.
Am I alone in this?
Do you ever do/feel the same way?
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that there are enough people in this world – specifically in this industry – who get off on telling actors that they aren’t good enough. That they don’t “have what it takes.”
(Whatever the fuck that means.)
Don’t join that group of people.
If you want to dance then dance. Rent a studio and twirl until you puke.
If you want to play second zebra from the left in The Lion King then put your stripes on and get ready so that when the audition comes you feel confident and able.
Use your powers for good rather than evil.
It may not mean you’ll become a Broadway star. It may not mean you'll book every job you go in for, but it will result in fewer sleepless nights and hopefully, less tears.
I want that for you and I want that for me.
Let’s do the work. Let’s be responsible superheroes.
The gifts of creativity and empathy are just that; gifts.
We have a choice:
We can use our gifts to create beautiful work or we can pervert them - turning them into weapons pointed at our own hearts.
I’ve decided to turn my powers outward.
I’ve decided to move forward.
Wanna come with?
And just for fun, here's a little Patsy Cline. She's crazy too. But I'll let her explain.
AND NOW...THE WEEK IN WHITNEY HOUSTON!!!
Miss Houston had a great friendship with the Bebe and Cece Winans - the brother and sister gospel duo. Truthfully, it was more than a friendship. They were family and I LOVED when they sang together. Here they are on The Arsenio Hall Show singing, Hold Up The Light.
GEOFFREY KIDWELL Geoffrey is an actor/manny in NYC. He spends his days just trying to figure it out.
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