Crazytown

I’ve got a new friend. He’s very thorough in his friendship. A little too needy, though. He’s a bit like that cat you feed once that keeps coming back. He’s the president of the united states.
MONKEY BUSINESS by Tony Asaro (Composer/Librettist/Liberal)

Two times in my life, I have given to the Obama campaign. I first donated for the election in 2008. I also donated during his Obamacare push. Now mind you, when I say “donate” I don’t mean that I attended a fundraising dinner, $35,000/plate. No. I would never spend that much on a meal. My first donation was for $15, and my 2^nd was for $25 (enough to get the T-shirt).

It’s no secret that Romney is running fundraising circles around Obama right now. Um, of course he is. He’s a kajillionaire. He has kajillionaire friends. His policies would benefit kajillionaires. The also would benefit corporations. Romney makes one phone call, and another $10 million is dropped into his campaign’s account.

Wall Street doesn’t like Obama. The banks don’t like Obama. Rich people in general don’t like him. And many middle-class people of the white persuasion still don’t like him. Add it all up, and his campaign isn’t raising as much as Romney. So what’s an incumbent president seeking re-election to do? Email me, apparently.

So as you know from last week’s post, I am currently underemployed. (I did get that job I was interviewing for, though!!! It’s part-time, but it pays better than I thought, and it could lead to something more substantial down the road!) In any case, I have no extra room in my budget for cheese on my sandwich, let alone to give to Obama right now.

Almost daily, my email inbox gets a message from the president. He’s so sweet to keep checking up with me. I love our little game of “Hey Tony, guess what?” And I say, “What Barack?” And he says, “Look at that rich Romney guy.” And I say “Yeah, look at him go. Jeez!” And he says, “You don’t want him to win, do you?” And I say, “NO WAY, José!” And he says, “Well, I don’t have enough money right now.” And I say, “Yeah, tell me about it. Things are rough.” And he says, “No. I mean, you should give me some money. How about $12? Can you give me $12?” And I say, “DELETE.”

Sometimes it’s not Mr. Obama. Sometimes it’s the head of his campaign. Or his wife. Or the VP. Or Beyonce, or Anna Wintour. He has lots of friends who are now my friends too! An email from Beyonce? That’s almost as exciting as getting Spam from Latrice Royale. TWICE.

This was the second of two Latrice spam emails.

Obama’s emails look like this:

Friend --
It's August 23rd. And 75 days from now, I'll either be looking at another four years in the White House -- or the end of this opportunity.

I know what's at stake for the parents worrying about health care, the kids who need help to go to college, and the seniors who want a secure retirement.

But we're getting outspent by wide margins in critical battleground states -- and what we do about that today could be the difference between winning and losing on November 6th.

So as we near one of the last fundraising deadlines of this campaign, I'm asking you to pitch in $12 right now:

https://donate.barackobama.com/75-Days

Thanks for all you do,

Barack

So in response, I say this:

Friend --
Thanks for the 796th email. Yes, I know we're being outspent in this campaign. But don't forget that you are courting the votes of people who are getting outspent in life. You're going after the wrong voters if you want to try and outspend Romney and his elite. Don't get me wrong--if I had money to give, I'd give it to you, but isn't your winning with less money kinda the point?

I'm no political analyst nor economist, but it seems to me that fighting the losing fundraising war is not doing you any good. How about an add campaign that emphasizes the point that the people the Obama campaign represents can't afford to out-fundraise Romney? How about a campaign that is decidedly against trying to out-fundraise the elite? Emphasize that point, and make it the underscored hook of this election. Highlight the relationship between Romney and the super-rich he represents--use the momentum and anger of the Occupy movement. America is mad as hell at the 1%. Fuel that fire.

If money is what it's going to take to win this battle, then I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, Friend: you've already lost it.

TONY ASARO is a composer/librettist currently working on various musical theatre and opera projects including the award winning Our Country. To learn more about Tony's writing, please visit unrelentingmonkey.com. NEVER STOP SWINGING!