Want to delve into the depths of someone's psyche? Just take a gander at their shopping cart.
by Amanda Louise Miller, Consumeristic Voyeur
I think it’s safe to say that we--and when I say “we,” I mean “we individuals in a consumeristic society such as this one"--can be summed up fairly accurately by the things we buy.
I mean, who hasn’t stood in the WalMart/CVS/Walgreens checkout line in the wee hours of the morning, clutching a very random collection of items, some of which were needed AT THAT MOMENT, some of which were picked up because “oh, yeah, I do need that,” or because “dude, peanut butter-filled-pretzels sound SO AWESOME right now,” the rest of which were selected, perhaps, to draw attention away from the aforementioned items? Furthermore, who, while standing in said line with said items, hasn’t thought to themself, “Man, I wonder what the clerk is going to think of this combination of stuff?”
(image from www.foundmagazine.com)
(I think my personal best Awkward Combo of Purchased Items has to be day that - it happened to be my birthday - I checked out of Barnes and Noble with a book titled “The World’s Most Dangerous Women” and a copy of the “Naked Boys Singing” CD, but that’s another story...)
Now, at 2 in the morning the answer to the question, “What will the CVS checkout clerk think of me?” is probably, “Nothing - It’s 2 am, all they are thinking about is their next smoke break,” but that doesn’t mean that you can’t tell a lot about a person by the things they buy. 
This past Tuesday, September 4th, in addition to being The Day Grad Students At OCU Get to Schedule Their Senior Recitals (Sunday, March 10th, y’all - mark your calendars), and Pumpkin Spice Latte Day at Starbucks (more about that in a minute), also happened to be (a very overdue) Pay Day, for those of us who normally get paid on the first business day of the month (silly Labor Day!).
Upon looking at the purchases I made on September 4th, I propose that The World’s Easiest Personality Quiz would simply involve looking at everyone’s sales receipts from (a very overdue and much awaited) Pay Day, and making some basic deductions.
I’ll start. Without further ado, here were my Pay Day purchases:
- A Grande Pumpkin Spice Latte. This was a necessity. So much so that I woke up 20 minutes early so that I’d have time to stop and get one before class.
(Fact: your day will be markedly better if you start it with a Pumpkin Spice Latte.
Fact: I have one day of cold hard evidence to prove this.)
- Morningstar Farms Vegetarian Breakfast Biscuits and Healthy Choic Greek Frozen Yogurt. Just try them. Your life will change.
(Seriously great stuff.)
- A new “chew tunnel,” a chew toy, and oat hay for Fosse, the Wonder Chinchilla. He is 8 years old and has teeth problems, so I’m trying to encourage him to chew more. (Ah, the joys of geriatric pet ownership!)
(This is Fosse, faux-innocently mugging for food, despite the fact he just got fresh hay and has food in his bowl.)
- Three books of poetry: a) “Delights and Shadows” by Ted Kooser (Nebraska poet and former US Poet Laureate - this was actually the book I walked into Barnes and Noble to buy.) b) “Red Bird” by Mary Oliver. c) “Sonnets from the Portuguese: A Celebration of Love” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
(I highly recommend all three of these!)
Prior to today, I would not have labeled myself as a “poetry person,” but as I casually leafed through these particular volumes, these sneaky little books reeled me in with some particularly amazing, grab-you-by-the-jugular lines.
And that's it (oh, plus a 12 pack of these tiny little 7.5 oz cans of Coke Zero, which is either the greatest thing, or the greatest rip off ever, I can't decide). I am not sure what deductions you're going to make about me based on my pay day purchases... but I am sure that they will probably be preeeetty accurate. :)
 As she was reading over this post for me, my younger sister (who actually started her MDiv degree on Pumpkin Spice Latte Day), laughed and said, "You should see what's currently on my Kindle!" This, undedited, is her list:
- Dead Until Dark (a Sookie Stackhouse Book)
- Introduction to Pastoral Counseling
- The Lost Gate, by Orson Scott Card
- Old Testament Parallels
- Fifty Shades of Grey
Dear Sis: you win. Love, Amanda ;)
AMANDA LOUISE MILLER
, when not drinking expensive coffee or purchasing books, is pursuing her MM in Music Composition at Oklahoma City University
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