Maybe if I make a resolution now, I'll actually stick with it.
By Jen Littlefield (Choreographer/Librettist)
It's the end of January and I've been feeling like a bit of a slacker because I never made a New Year's Resolution. Last year I did the whole - work out every day in January - bit because I read somewhere that if you can do something for a month, it becomes a habit. That is false:
All it did was make me run around a lot for 28 days (kicking myself for those three I missed) and then feel more relaxed when I stopped in February. So this year, I thought I'd skip the set-yourself-up-for-failure routine and just go sans resolution.
And then I got sick.
I got that nasty cold that's been going around NYC right as all my classes and rehearsals began at the same time and I had to worry about enrollment and scheduling everything and finding the time to still write and create while keeping up with all the emails and being exhausted all the time and I just started to feel completely overwhelmed.
This is when I realized that I have totally lost the ability to separate my work time (when I work) and my off time (when I don't work). My life has become one big blur of constantly working, thinking about working, feeling guilty for not working, or drinking enough to finally forget that I'm not at home doing work. A "day off" is when I only have a class OR a rehearsal and "taking a break" is following the endless links I find on my Facebook and Twitter feeds.
But that was my old life, the old me. The me before I actually had to pause during the day because I could't stop blowing my nose or stay awake for longer than four hours straight. The new me, the January-31st-Eve-Resolution version of me is finally here:
- I will take a full day off and not think about work at least once every two weeks.
- I will really work when I make time to work (and close that pesky FB tab…)
- I will not feel angry or guilty when the creative juices just aren't flowing.
- I will make the time to travel to a new country this year (this one is relevant ok, just go with it).
Ok Crazytown, it's official. If you put something on the internet, it becomes true, and by that logic, I have to follow through. If you'd like to join me, feel free, otherwise, I'll just know that you're reading this and therefore judging me if I don't stick with it. (I'm obviously going to have a hard time with number 3 part B, which is odd because I'm not Catholic or Jewish...)
JEN LITTLEFIELD is a freelance choreographer and writer with a few steady teaching gigs at Pace University and Concordia Conservatory. As she's come to discover, freelance is code for constantly working, so she is also a single gal who lives and lives-it-up in Hell's Kitchen. www.jenlittlefield.com
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