IS THAT A PEE STAIN ON YOUR DRAWERS OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?!

In order to maintain a healthy romantic relationship through life's ups and downs I think it is important to keep it silly. Laugh as often as possible, don't take things personally as often as possible and always remember, when arguing with a man, know that underneath his pants there is an adorable pee spot on his boxer briefs reminding you that this isn't that serious. 
- By Leah Bonnema (Stand Up Comic)

Men pee on themselves. This is not a judgement. There is no malice or ill will in this statement. I actually find it adorable. I find it odd though that as a culture that we are not discussing it when we all know it is happening.

Looks like this kid is on the exact same schedule as my boyfriend

I've been in office meetings when men come out of the restroom in their nicest, finely ironed and crisp trousers and there on the upper left or right (depending where they hang) thigh is a little, freshly wet, pee spot. Men, top of the food chain, can't control their urine.

As a woman who does not have a penis I find it more curious than anything else. What is happening the bathroom men?! Do you remember that you had something else to do and walk away mid stream?! Is there no shut down valve or trap door at the end of your penis? Couldn't you maybe shake it harder or possibly beat it on the side of the toilet? Maybe we should install hand dryers directly next to the urinals just to get that last drip? 

This is happening... Everywhere.

I understand why guys can't take a square of toilet paper and dab the tip. It is somehow unmanly and one wouldn't want to not act like an animal in public. But if I had a penis I would carry baby wipes in my back pocket, the ones with aloe, and then I would swaddle it. Make a aloe baby wipe dick diaper, no pee spot and it would be nice and cozy (and moisturized). 

EVERYMAN EVER. Even Ben Franklin had pee stains.

Whenever my man half thinks I might be acting bossy or I don't know, only child like, I remind him that I am the one in the relationship who is not peeing on themselves, so I get to make all the big kid decisions. 

Leah Bonnema is a Stand Up Comic. www.LeahBonnema.com
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Comments

[David Davila]

FYI: this has always bothered me.

Maybe because I am a gay man, I have NEVER been okay with soggy underwear. If I am at home, or in a stall I use the square of toilet paper trick.

My younger brother on the other hand will walk around in his boxers even with the leaky faucet stain.

[Leah B]

Ahahahahaha - "leaky faucet stain" - I love it! I don't know why I think it is so friggin' cute. It's like 'ahhhhhh, did you do a wittle peepee on your manpanties....'

[Leah Bonnema]

"An aloe"...... Not "a aloe". I was so wrapped up in the moment. My bad.