I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAYYYYYY!!!

You'd better 86 the 69 talk.
By Alisha Giampola (Actress) 

My best friend from college and I are still best friends. He was my best man at my wedding. We have a lot of jokes that we don't even remember how they started. For our entire friendship, we have both been obsessed with the long-cancelled Comedy Central cult tv hit from the early '00's, Strangers With Candy. I, personally, have used this show as currency when forming new friendships. Can you quote it? Do you dream of meeting Amy Sedaris in real life? Is this what made you fall in love with Stephen Colbert, long before he became a regular television presence? Ok. We can be friends.

Last week, on Valentine's Day, I found myself finishing up some things around the classroom where I teach, and had a handful of plain red construction paper hearts that seemed sad to just throw away, even though the holiday was essentially over. But my Valentine's Day, which involved plans for a late lunch with Jake, my aformentioned bestie, had not yet begun. Inspired, I went online to find some Strangers With Candy Valentines to print out and affix to the red paper hearts. Shockingly, despite the plethora of other random crap that appears to be readily available on the internet, Jerri Blank and/or Strangers With Candy inspired Valentines do not appear to be a thing. 

Supremely irritated, I printed some graphics from the show and proceeded to make them a thing. Honestly, I should really start a business. Amy Sedaris would be way proud, because she's all about crafting:

It's just a collective cooperative community service operation outreach program project.

One time I was at a show at FringeNYC and I realized that the woman who looked so familiar to me in he lobby was Deborah Rush, the actress who plays Jerri's reluctant and sometimes-alcoholic stepmother, Sara Blank. I have seen much more famous people in real life but Sara Blank left me star struck. If I ever got to meet Stephen Colbert I couldn't really be held responsible for my actions. 

So I present to you my new Strangers With Candy Valentine card line...filling a desperately empty niche in the greeting card industry:

Right after taking this picture, I decided the STD Valentine needed a litte something extra, so I added a couple charming photographs of petri dishes filled with gonorrhea.

Principal Blackman saying "hot tea" is pretty much my favorite thing ever.

For those of you who might be skeptical that Strangers With Candy had an important message to offer society, I offer you this: every after-school-special-style moral in every episode of Strangers With Candy, in order (and also the newest thing my girl Amy has been up to). I love the internet.  

 

Also...I don't know if any of you have significant others reminding you about it daily like I do, but the Oscars are this Sunday, and I'll be hanging out with some other Crazytowners drinking bubbly and hashtagging my feelings all the way from the red carpet to the ugly crying at #ctownoscars. So mark your calendars for the evening of Feb. 24th if you care at all about Ben Affleck's future. 

Now, are there any questions I have the ability to answer? Thank you.

ALISHA GIAMPOLA is an NYC based actor/teacher/writer who was in a cult for 45 seconds. 

EMAIL HER |  FACEBOOK | TWITTER | OTHER POSTS BY THIS AUTHOR