Bob continues his journey to write a play without losing
grip on reality.
By Bob Simpson (Writer)
As you may have read last week, I’m going to invite you to share in my experience/living hell as I try to write my first play in 10 years. Well, folks, one week of hardcore writing is behind me, so let’s take a look at our metrics.
Writing Progress: Character Breakdown, Outline, and Scene 1 first draft complete
Concerns: I am the worst writer ever. Seriously, Stephanie Meyer is genius compared to me.
Humor level of play: Funny as heart attack, barely.
Panic Level: Mild annoyance
Days until reading: 92
There you have it. What did I learn last week? Many, many things friends, but mostly I learned that I am a completely worthless person that doesn’t have a single, cogent idea to contribute to society. If you asked me a week ago, well, that was different. Seven days ago I had a stellar idea that would have people rolling in the aisle, urinating themselves uncontrollably and forcing them to admit themselves into psychiatric institutions. It was an idea that made Mark Twain look like a theater reviewer for the Oakville Happy Camper.
Fast-forward to now and not only has my idea gone from sheer brilliance in my head to complete, unfunny nonsense on the page, but the clock has started ticking. That number above? 92. That’s how many days I have left to live, before I throw myself off the highest structure (in North Hollywood, probably a mailbox) out of humiliation.
Am I overreacting? Yes, of course I am, but also consider this: you don’t know me.
I did learn a valuable lesson this week when translating a golden nugget from your head onto the page, then dealing with the shock when you realize it wasn’t a golden nugget, but a very shiny dog dookie. That lesson was to just keep going! If I stopped and mourned/ruminated on every choice and every word placed down on the page, it would be all over.
So, I’m going to keep going, one small step at a time. Wish me luck.
Goal for next week: Scenes 2 and 3 drafted with minimal hair loss.
BOB SIMPSON is
a writer and lives in Los Angeles, where he works for Warner Bros.
Entertainment, Inc., though the views and opinions expressed in this and
other articles are solely those of the author, and do not represent the
views or opinions of Warner Bros. There, disclaimer done. Bob is also
a geek - gentledgeek.blogspot.com
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