My new mantra for when times get tough: WWBD?
By Geoffrey Kidwell (actor)
I had a rotten audition on Wednesday.
Like pretty epically roten.
My voice cracked...twice.
I sounded shitty.
The casting director found a typo on my résumé.
And, as I always do when I'm in an awkard or humiliating situation, I made a dumb joke that went over about as well as a fart in church.
Not my sparkliest moment.
Of course, in these situations one is presented with various ways of responding:
- Hit "da club" and drink/dance his troubles away with an old guy who says he wants to make him his own personal Polly Pocket Doll.
- Head to McDonalds and cry while slamming two quarter pounders with cheese.
- Find the nearest, innocent MTA employee and just light into him the terrible service and ridiculous prices.
I chose a fourth option:
I marched straight to the gym, which was not a bad idea, except that on the way I chewed off all of my fingernails - a disgusting habit I always fall back on when I'm feeling less than splendid. When I arrived, I found a stationary bike, put on sad songs from Broadway musicals and cried while texting my boyfriend about how especially shitty my life was feeling.
Truth be told, it felt pretty good. I'm like an Olympic-level wallower. I'm really good at rolling around in the muck of my own emotional distress.
But ultimately, it's not good for me.
Wednesday night, when I got home and threw on my sweatpants and my Beyonce t-shirt (Yes...I do have one),
I realized that all I needed to do to find a healthier way of dealing with a lousy situation was to look in the mirror at the Queen Bey!
And suddenly...it occurred to me...like a shot of electricity...or whiskey, ya go with whiskey:
WHAT WOULD BEYONCE DO?
Beyonce wouldn't have shame spiraled the way I did. She wouldn't have needed to gorge herself in cupcakes and red wine.
She would have reminded herself that those folks behind the table at any audition are damn lucky to experience her talent. She would have walked out of there with her head...and her blonde weave...held high and said to herself, "You still flawless, B. Don't even sweat it."
And then, after all of that, she would have reminded herself of one important fact...
I've decided that in 2014, when these sorts of little disappointments occur, I'm going to take a deep breath and think, "Geoffrey, WWBD? WWBD?"
You do it too, alright?
Remember that you're flawless, even when you're voice cracks on that high note. Screw that high note anyway.
Don't get it twisted. Bow down, bitches.
AND NOW...THE WEEK IN WHITNEY HOUSTON!!!!
Here's a thirty minute clip from a concert Miss Houston did in 1996. She looks and sounds incredible and does so many of her hits, but also a bunch of more obscure numbers. Enjoy!!!