Farts farts and more farts. Farts.
By BrightMonster (An Actor and Fellow Fartiste)
Farting is Funny.
Everybody farts.
But...or...butt...
It's one of the very few things in life that people just won't admit to doing.
It's like, almost on the same par as murder sometimes.
I mean, come on people! It's just a natural thing that happens to EVERYONE! It's not like you can get in trouble doing it or anything...
Wait, you can? Oh fart!
That kid should call a town meeting.
And at that meeting, he should drop his pants, and totally pull a "Terrance and Phillip" on everyone.
And now...some fart facts:
•Farts have been clocked at a speed of 10 feet per second.
•A person produces about half a liter of farts a day.
And lastly...
•Farts are universally hilarious.
My proof?
Impromptu recipes for the hungry soul.
By BrightMonster (An Actor and Foodie)
Hello all you crazy(town) kids!
Last night, my girlfriend made me some delicious dinner. If you must know, she made stuffed peppers. But not just any stuffed peppers. She made chorizo, veggie, and cheese stuffed poblano peppers! It was a Mexican fiesta dancing all over that mouth of mine.
Long story short, I felt as if I owed her something extra special in return for one of the most delicious homemade meals I've had in quite a bit.
So I decided to try and make something I have never made before...ICE CREAM.
Another long story short...it turned out AMAZING!
I will now share with you how to make the most delicious STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM from scratch...
WITHOUT AN ICE CREAM MAKER! That's right. Come along, children.
Inventions for those of us who constantly need to be impressed.
By BrightMonster (An Actor and Lover of Things)
I was Stumbling on my favorite website, StumbleUpon.com, and I found myself looking at some pretty neat gadgets and inventions. Some of them are just prototypes looking for investors. But some of them you can actually own and be the coolest kid on your block. Let's take a look!
The Rolltop 2.0
This computer, if you can call it that, is a wonder machine. It straps over your shoulder like a yoga bag and weighs less than your average MacBook. When you want to do some writing, or watch a movie, or plan that big presentation, just take the computer off your shoulder...AND UNROLL IT!
It is a fully flexible screen with a few different modes for use. You can flex it upwards like a standard laptop, kickstand it so you can watch it like a television, or lay it completely flat for tablet use.
The kicker? The "bag" it comes attached to is actually the loudspeaker/power source.
This really would be the computer of the future. Except it doesn't exist yet. But if you would like to know more and see it in action, check out the website!
ROLLTOP 2.0
The Polite Umbrella
For my New York City readers, this one is for you. For me, one of my least favorite places to walk in the rain is Times Square. Too many people, too many umbrellas, and too much anger. People are frustrated with trying to haul their kids around and trying not to get massacred by thousands of umbrellas. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the future of umbrella hardware. Say goodbye to the stress and hello to a new fun way to avoid rain, and asshole people.
Coffee Creations
One of the loves of my life is coffee. I love to smell it, I love to drink it, and I love to pretend I know a lot about it. But one thing I truly love about it is the endless choices of vessels you can drink it out of. I prefer the mug to mostly anything (call me old fashioned). But then I came across this amazing website, Toxel.com, and my coffee mug life changed drastically. Aside from the 24 amazing mugs you will see on this site, there are thousands of other inventions and gadgets that will blow your mind. A good lot of them you are able to purchase! Check out what people have created for us lovers of java. My favorite is "The Dunk Mug" which allows you to store up to three cookies inside a compartment of your coffee mug for easier access to dunking.
24 INNOVATIVE COFFEE MUGS
And who says that surfing the web is bad for your brain? See you all next week!
Spiral Hot Dog Cutter!
Get your own HERE!
A protest against all things legitimately UNCOOL.
By BrightMonster (An Actor and Realist)
Today I checked out Yahoo.com, Twitter.com, and it's hybrid daughter YahooTrending on Twitter. They all have a tab titled "trending now." Under this tab is what's being talked about right now. It's basically like an up to the minute top ten list of everything that one should be paying attention to.
Today (which is actually Friday, April 22nd...surprise!...CRAZYTOWN tapes like a talk show!) on Yahoo.com, the top 5 trending topics were as follows:
1. JWoww
2. Rebecca Black
3. Snooki's Beach Bod
4. Snoring
5. Earth Day
I know that I could just end my blog post here and we would all be on the same page, but my ranting soul just won't let me.
After refreshing the page a good 10 times, the top 3 trends remained strong and at one point jockeyed for top position (JWoww remains). What bothers me about this is not the fact that people are talking about the Jersey Shore wildebeest club, or what I would definitely say is one of THE WORST fucking songs in history. What bothers me is the why.
I believe it all started with Bob Saget.
At first, we all knew Bob as Daniel Ernest Tanner, the hugging-obsessed, widowed father of D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle. Then we knew him as the guy who hosted videos of wholesome fathers getting nailed in the junk. His hair was large, his suits didn't quite fit his stork-ish body, and we gladly welcomed him into our house on weeknights.
Then, for some reason, it all changed.
A stream of consciousness that might take a while.
By BrightMonster (An Actor and Improviser)
The fear of the unknown.
Ever had the "Actor's Nightmare" dream?
I mean the real thing. I'm talking about the full terror of trying to do a 2 hour plus show, complete with intermission and stage door...and you have no idea where you are or what you are supposed to do?
Many actors dread it. Some people wake up and call their stage manager to apologize for something that never took place.
I happen to love it.
It started when I was in middle school. Community theatre musicals would run a weekend or two at the very most, and then it was over until the next one. Like clockwork, about two days before the actual opening night (no previews back then), I would have the dream.
I'm in my bed, I'm naked (even though I clearly went to bed in awesome superhero boxers), and I just got the "places" call.
The first time, it happened far too fast for me to even register what had happened. The second time, I "nightmared" for about the equivalent of a drawn-out version of August: Osage County. It was terrifying for about 5 minutes. But then it got fun. I remember thinking two things:
1. The show MUST go on.
2. What would Colin Mochrie do?
The customer is not always right. But this time, I was.
By BrightMonster (An Actor and Eater)
A restaurant is only as good as the people that run it.
As an avid lover of new food and cheap beer, it was only appropriate that I decided to visit a new restaurant that was opening in Union Square. Having lived in the area for years, it is always fun to go back down there and check out the new goings on.
My girlfriend, my best friend, and I walked into Little Town NYC with high hopes. Gourmet chicken wings, clam strips, and a humongous menu of 6 dollar craft beers were straight up all of our alleys.
However, things began to go very south, very quickly.
Watch your back, FOOD NETWORK
By BrightMonster (An Actor and Future TV Star)
For about 2 years, my girlfriend and I have been developing an idea for a cooking show. On Friday of last week, we officially filmed the pilot episode.
The show is called An Actor Prepares...
The premise of the series is simple. 2 actors teach you how to make an affordable and delicious meal on an actor's budget, while providing some noteworthy acting techniques and exercises. It's silly but it is also incredibly educational for those people who have zero idea how to cook...or act.
In just about 4 hours, we filmed the first episode titled "Bacon and Eggs."
Shitty kids wake and stir the Monster.
By BrightMonster (An Actor and Observer)
Sitting on a quiet subway train is a thing of the past. Long gone are the days of being able to end your night on a slow (or quick) train home with nothing but the clacks of the tracks in your ears.
Because now, every time I enter a subway car at any hour of any day, I can be assured of one thing. There will always be a group of awful and awfully noisy fucking youths screaming at the tops of their lungs about absolute rubbish.
In the last couple of years (I'll say 5 for safety), something has changed about the youth of America. Whether it's due to some new lackadaisical version of "child rearing" that is utterly backfiring, or due to some horrible influences on television or radio that give children permission to have a "fuck-all" attitude towards everything; it's really pissing me off and I don't know what to do about it.
Here is an actual conversation I overheard the other day on the subway.
A must-have recipe for the grill fanatic.
By BrightMonster (An Actor and Culinary God)
Can you feel it?
That ease in the air? The slight hint of warmth on your neck? The welcome breeze, complete with the scent of springtime?
That's right kids. It's GRILLING WEATHER! So buy your charcoal in bulk, clean off your Weber (or come clean mine if you want), and let's get our flame on!
There is nothing better than sinking your teeth into a burger, steak, hot dog, or any other delicious piece of food straight off of a grill. That slightly smoky charred flavor it imparts is an integral part of Spring and Summer. I understand that people can grill all year round, but what's the fun of doing it in the dead of Winter when you can't even enjoy what you're doing? This time of the year is perfect because it's not too hot, and not too cold. You can stay on your roof (or deck if you're richer than me) and entertain for hours.
If you don't have a grill, or a space to use one, I really do feel bad for you. But don't fret, the recipes I'm about to share with you are just as easily translatable to a cast-iron skillet.
Mind you, all of my "original" recipes are just tweaked versions of recipes I have tried in the past. Every chef steals and tries hard to make their recipe better and more original. All of my recipes will continue to grow in complexity and flavor as I continue to flex my culinary muscles.
Here is my recipe for one damn delicious grill burger.
