Surely little girls can't like pink THAT much...
By Jenny Donoghue
...When I was a kid my favorite color was orange. Or stripey.
...and then the plethora of pink swallowed the child whole.
This week the topic of strong female lead characters in cartoons came up mid-friendly chat. I was disappointed to realize I couldn't think of many. Not from my own childhood, nor from the meager offerings of present day.[1]
While the non-bundance of kickass females didn't stop little girl Donoghue from aspiring to do all the cool things the male cartoons did, and while I bet most kids don't yet register gender on a conscious level, young girls (and boys) are going to get bombarded with so much subliminal shitty gender stereotyping in their lives, it wouldn't hurt to give them a strong foundation of examples of gender-equal awesomeness.
Besides, the boys shouldn't get to have all the fun.
Below are the badass lady cartoon characters I could think of. There were so few I quickly started in on live action children's TV. Even that was a challenge. If you have specialist cartoon knowledge[3]/think of any I've left out, leave them in the comments!
Mulan. Nobody puts Mulan in a corner.
Animaniacs. Although she was part of a trio, this girl was a firecracker.
The Mighty B. If it's created by Amy Poehler, you know it's not only going to be super awesome but also pro-feminist in the most fun way. Poehler is doing great things for young girls with both this show AND her inspiring Charlie Rose show for young girls, Smart Girls At The Party. The show "celebrates extraordinary individuals who are changing the world by being themselves." Thank God for Amy Poehler.
Ashley Spinelli from Recess. She actively defies the obnoxious girl stereotypes in her namesake episode. Gretchen from Recess was also smart, capable and awesome.
Fun fact! She was voiced by Pamela Adlon, of Louie.
Gaia from Captain Planet. Epitomy of Lady Power.
Kim Possible. Ass-kicking girl superhero! Yes please!
Miss Piggy (Muppet Babies version!) Event though she wears all pink, she doesn't take no shit. This gem was from back in my day. Good times. If it weren't for these guys kid-me wouldn't have gotten out of bed on a Saturday morning.
As Told By Ginger. She was a bit older, more of a young tween. But still a cool girl.
Miss Frizzle from The Magic School Bus! So many of the females on this list are redheaded...coincidence?
The Worst Witch. She's live action, but homegirl was the original Harry Potter.
Wizadora. Not a cartoon, but British quirky lady for kids.
A Little Princess. NOT A CARTOON EITHER, I KNOW. But what a lovely role model for girls. If only these kind of princesses were forced down girls' throats instead of that pink sparkly tiara crap. I CRY EVERY TIME.
[1] Though I will admit I'm not super well versed in today's menu of children's TV.
[2] I think this is a good and healthy thing for a 24 year old.
[3] Good for you! I'm genuinely impressed.
JENNY DONOGHUE Made in Wales, matured in NY. Currently living in London. Like some kind of delicious weird mid-Atlantic cheese. Actor, sometimes writer, all-times human. www.jennydonoghue.com
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Match the extremist to the outrageous & offensive statement!
By Jenny Donoghue
Someone needs to let these folks know that human beings can hear them when they say stuff. You'd think they're TRYING to win over as few people as possible.
How To Play: Who said what? Simply match the 2012 Republican candidate with the correct reprehensive statement. Every single statement is sickeningly real, dates included.
Answers at the bottom, like those teen magazine quizzes we all used to love/reluctantly do to pass time and now hold nostalgic affection for.
Except not upside down, because this is the internet now.
THE POLITICIANS
A. Ron Paul[1]
B. Mitt Romney
C. Michelle Bachmann
D. Rick Santorum
E. Rick Perry[2]
F. Newt Gingrich
THE QUOTES
1. "She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." (1994, about his first wife)
2. "Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." (2009 during a debate)
3. "Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?" (2008)
4. "PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." (2006, when questioned about driving 12 hours with his dog in a cage strapped to the top of his car)
5. "Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.” (2004)
6. "The rate of AIDS infection is on the increase again. From the gay point of view, the reasons seem quite sensible. First, these men don't really see a reason to live past their fifties. They are not married, they have no children, and their lives are centered on new sexual partners... because sex is the center of their lives, they want it to be as pleasurable as possible, which means unprotected sex. Third, they enjoy the attention & pity that comes with being sick." (1995 in a newsletter)
7. "I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. " (2011 in a campaign ad)
8. "I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." (2011 while speaking to unemployed people in Florida...his net worth is over $200 million.)
ANSWERS (don't cheat!):
1F, 2C, 3D, 4B, 5C, 6A, 7E, 8B
If nannying has taught me anything it's that making unpleasant things into games helps.
[1]Not Ru Paul. Easy mistake. Certainly one I frequently make.
JENNY DONOGHUE Made in Wales, matured in NY. Currently living in London. Like some kind of delicious weird mid-Atlantic cheese. Actor, sometimes writer, all-times human. www.jennydonoghue.com
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Your weekly round up of the web's quirky distractions.
By Jenny Donoghue
Slate magazine made a nifty and horrifying little calaculator which reveals how long it would take Mitt Romney to make what you earn in a year. My answer didn't even enter the double digits of HOURS.
Just in case you were under the delusion that he ISN'T a reprehensible human.
In less sickening news, take a listen to this wonder of musical ingenuity.
"BON JOVIVER" = Bon Iver + Bon Jovi. A rare treat for fans of both.[1]
I've listened in excess of 30 times already. Kills me that this isn't full length.
[1] A rare and noble breed of human.
JENNY DONOGHUE Made in Wales, matured in NY. Currently living in London. Like some kind of delicious weird mid-Atlantic cheese. Actor, sometimes writer, all-times human. www.jennydonoghue.com
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In a world where financial success often comes at the cost of creative integrity, comedian Louis C.K. is changing how we connect with entertainment.
By Jenny Donoghue
An American stand up and lesson in perseverance for young artists, C.K. perfected his craft for twenty-seven years, only recently gathering a large following for his hilariously poignant observations.
C.K. has introduced artistry to the sitcom with his production company, Pig Newton, which makes its decisions valuing content over profit. For his 2010 sitcom, Louie, he chose a development deal from FX. Their offer was the lowest budget of the several he received but guaranteed C.K. complete creative control, a rare thing in network television. The result was a show with a clear sense of authorship that continues to rank high on the favourites lists of many comedians themselves, because of its commitment to being the show he wanted to make.
In a world that, as a strapped for cash recent graduate, feels terrifyingly and impenetrably about money, C.K.’s business practices offer hope that the purity of Doing Things For The Love Of Them we imagined when deciding to pursue artistic careers might be financially viable after all.
C.K. considered the traditional option when releasing his stand up special: a production company that guaranteed a good salary and took distribution out of his hands, likely charging audiences an excessive $20 or more to own it, and adding content restrictions that prevent people enjoying media from certain geographical locations.
He decided instead to film it himself and sell it on his website at the very reasonable price of $5, without content restrictions.
Do you know how little you actually own of the content you “buy”? Not only does most media have DRM, digital locks which prohibit the content being played in certain locations, companies can access your information while you use their media and legally still own the content you’ve paid for. Your entire Family Guy collection could be rescinded at any time! Who knows what we’ve signed over in iTunes user agreements. They could own my first-born for all I know.
Most heartwarming about C.K.’s experiment is how his audience embraced it. Naturally he was concerned about pirate copies. So, he put up a note simply asking people not to steal it. People listened and didn’t. They even reported those who did.
C.K.’s experiment was an overwhelming success, with a profit of over a million dollars. He posted a thank you on his website.
I learned that money can be a lot of things. It can be something that is hoarded, fought over, protected, stolen and withheld. Or it can be like an energy, fueled by the desire, will, creative interest, need to laugh, of large groups of people. (Louis CK)
While I don’t advocate tearing down our current distribution systems, evidently great things can come from corporations not having such a monopoly that they get away with excessive prices and content restrictions.
With a million dollars you’d think C.K. would be laughing all the way to the bank. He wasn’t.
I never viewed money as being "my money" I always saw it as "The money" It's a resource. It needs to be flushed back out into the system. (Louis C.K.)
Engaging twitter for suggestions, he donated a quarter of his profit between four suggested charities. Another quarter he gave in “big fat bonuses” to the crew who worked on the special.
I want to set an example of what you can do if you all of a sudden have a million dollars that people just gave to you directly because you told jokes. (Louis C.K.)
Whether it’s the beginning of a revolution or not, it’s certainly good business practice. How refreshing to see kindness prove profitable.
An exciting break from being able to stalk everyone on the internet.
By Jenny Donoghue
This week I'm going on a date with a stranger I met on a bus. We got on really well and I'm somewhat interested in and attracted to him (for me about as rare as a Pokemon Candy[1]).
We exchanged only first names with our numbers, keeping it mysterious, reveling in the excitement of being deprived of information in a way generations before us have never felt. Try as I might, there's no way to look him up online. After months of texting, we’ve arranged to meet. The suspense and mystery is fun!
THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO ANNOUNCE THAT IF YOU NEVER HEAR FROM ME AGAIN I'VE PROBABLY BEEN MURDERED AND YOU SHOULD CONTACT THE POLICE AND MAYBE MY MUM.
It's a sad thing when you have to weigh up romance with nefarious intentions but that's how mystery and dating goes these days.
Scene of the initial encounter.
Bus Guy is the perfect combination of just weird enough to be interesting to me while relaxed and playful enough to pass for a functioning human. In fact, more stable-seeming than most people I consider friends and family: Sensible Money-Job, GSOH[2], Well Travelled, Bilingual, Creative Sensibilities, Articulate And, Even Better, Not Perturbed When I Was Articulate.
After the initial intrigue wore off, I began to wonder if he was hiding something. A girlfriend he was cheating on, or a whole family of wives he was hoping to induct me into, Big Love style.
Could be my future.
As I prepare for the date I’m 40% still concerned about that, 45% excited by the mystery, and 5% really hoping he’s not a serial killer.
To throw fuel on the serial killer fire, I should reveal that in our text correspondence he previously invited me to a weekend away at a hotel. As a first date. Did the fact that I couldn’t go save me from being found cut up in tiny pieces stuffed under a Holiday Inn mattress? Cause me to miss out on a filthy and torrid affair? Or is he just very intense and really trying to impress?
Continue reading "ROMANCE ISN'T DEAD. AND HOPEFULLY I WON'T BE KILLED BY A STRANGER." »
A buffet of discomfort this year.
By Jenny Donoghue
1. When Kim Jong-Il died and people thought it was Li'l Kim.
Unclear if these people have been confusing the North Korean with the Lady Rapper for the entirety of their respective careers, or if it was just in this instance.
2. The wild chanting of "USA! USA!" the moment we found out Osama Bin Laden had been killed. My liberal friends in a Lower East Side bar were suddenly possessed with that terrifying Spirit of America. So jarring I couldn't help but awkward-laugh. It was the first time in 5 years of living with you guys that I understood the mean things other countries say about you.
3. Charlie Sheen, in general. And specifically, his roast. And more specifically, all roasts ever. What an uncomfortable room of weird passive aggressive interactions.
Rebel Without A PrimeTimeTVShow.
4. The world not ending. Sorry, Family Radio, May 21 was just a day. Also, the name of your radio station is misleading, consider changing it. Intense Christian Radio is my suggestion. Take it or leave it.
5. Natalie Portman's laugh in her Oscar acceptance speech.
Almost as awkward as Winona Ryder stabbing herself in the face in the movie.
Or her husband's weird French last name.
6. Michele Bachmann being told by an 8 year old that his gay mother doesn't need "fixing". Neatly captures her transformation from passing for a kindly human woman to revealling herself as a heartless beast. Just like this.
7. Wonderland.
This montage haunted my dreams in the Spring of 2011. I must have listened to it at least One Hundred Million times in my stint as a Times Square flierer.
Also super awkward was the stalker who hung around waiting for the girls who came out dressed as Alice to promote the show.
8. Ron Paul and everything he says. Especially AIDS comments which make him seem like he's trying to alienate not just potential voters but all normal human beings. His awkwardness peaked when I misread his street campaign as “Ru Paul for President 2012”. That would be so much better.
9. Gwyneth Paltrow on Glee.
Bonus awkward for Paltrow: Hold up, Gwyneth has a lifestyle website! Named Goop?! Surely the least stylish name for a lifestyle website. Not that it matters as probably no one will visit it. Paltrow, Oprah's gap isn't yours to fill.
10. The Kardashian marriage scam. As if the woman wasn't already fake enough.
I am 98% sure she is a robot.
11. A woman suing a dead man because his severed body parts hit her as he was killed by a train. Quintessentially American, deeply disturbing.
As 2011 draws to a close, remember two things, my fellow humans. Firstly, time isn't real. Well, it kind of is. But don't get depressed about it. You just gotta keep getting up in the morning.
Kind of really passing, but also just a shadow on a circle.
Secondly, if 2011 taught us nothing else, it affirmed that awkwardness is both awesome and inevitable.
The seeds of 2012's first awkwardness have already begun to spread. You can almost feel it creeping up you spine.
Go forth and frolick in 2012, dear Crazytowners. Hope each one of you has a very happy and interesting year!
JENNY DONOGHUE Made in Wales, matured in NY. Currently living in London. Like some kind of delicious weird mid-Atlantic cheese. Actor, sometimes writer, all-times human. www.jennydonoghue.com
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