Crazytown

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY INNER GEOFFREY TENNANT

"You can't exactly say no to him..."
Miles Mandwelle (Actor/Musician)

Guys, over the summer, I became obsessed with Slings & Arrows.

Ob-sessed.

I have never in my life watched a series from start to finish in one week.

So it should come as no surprise that now I'm in directing school, my inner Geoffrey Tennant wants to break loose.

I'm not sure this is the best idea.

Let's look at some classic Geoffrey Tennant moments and accept why this is a bad idea.

 

 

 

 

 

MILES MANDWELLE is a directing student at North Carolina School of the Arts. Similar to Geoffrey Tennant, he goes on tangents, becomes upset, has occasional flashes of brilliance, but is largely scared of his own shadow, like that dastard, Puxatawney Phil. Oh, and also, he doesn’t comb his hair and rarely shaves. The hilarity of this is heightened because he looks like he's thirteen, and is planning on throwing himself a Bar Mitzvah for his next birthday.  EMAIL HIM |  FACEBOOK | TWITTER | OTHER POSTS BY THIS AUTHOR

MARK RYLANCE CAN SLAM A REVOLVING DOOR

“Well, it’s true.”
Miles Mandwelle (Actor/Musician)

Last year I stumbled into the Music Box theatre in New York to see La Bête, not expecting my life to be changed. I mean, I was seeing David Hyde Pierce and Joanna Lumley (of “Ab Fab” fame) in a play, which was good enough for me.

I was previously aware of Mark Rylance, but hadn’t seen him in anything. I volunteered for the Drama Desk Awards the year of Boeing-Boeing, cutting gels in the basement of LaGuardia High School in exchange for the chance to see the show, and got to see his highly amusing acceptance speech, with the additional bonus of watching his presenter, Patti LuPone, struggle with what to do with it all.

I later read his comments on why he chose to do that, which you can read here.

La Bête was already a first-rate production with Mr. Pierce and Ms. Lumely, and the direction of wunderkind Matthew Warchus, but the second Mark Rylance walked onstage, everyone in the audience could not help but be enraptured in his aura of awesome.

I was f$&)@in' speechless. Gobsmacked.

What saddened me about this extraordinary night in the theatre is that the house was half-empty. My understanding is the case was similar for Jerusalem, which I regrettably didn’t see.

Is Mark Rylance cursed in New York? In London, it’s been said that women would throw their panties at curtain call.

I, Miles Mandwelle, unfortunately do not have any panties I can throw at Mark Rylance. But what’s worse is that on a show I worked on recently, an astonishing number of people in the cast had no idea who he was. For the record, 85% of the actors were living in New York at the time.

So I have a proposition.

To raise awareness for the existence of Mark Rylance, I propose that all fellow Mark Rylance lovers make a conscious effort to turn him into a household name. And I propose this be done by turning him into the next Chuck Norris.

For example:
           
Mark Rylance can divide by zero.

Mark Rylance can slam a revolving door.

If Mark Rylance wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Global warming is just a myth, it’s Mark Rylance’s body heat coming from the Music Box Theatre.

See how easy it is?

Spread the word and be well.

Here are some quality Mark Rylance clips.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

 

 

  

 

MILES MANDWELLE shamelessly loves Mark Rylance.
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SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

"Another suitcase in another hall..."
Miles Mandwelle (Actor/Musician)

I’ve been in denial that I’m going back to school for most of the summer. This is an easy denial to make because I get into programs all the time, but the money never happens, so I decline them.

But this time, I have scholarship, a lease signed, a mailing address, and I found myself packing my backs this morning.

Ohmygod. I am living someplace for more than three months, and not out of a suitcase! I haven’t had a mailing address since I moved out of my apartment in Chicago, December 3, 2010. This is a big deal.

With my artist’s doubt running rampant, I’ve been avoiding it all summer. Am I worthy? Did they make a mistake in accepting me?

In the film of my life, this is how Miles waits for the greyhound bus:

 

Armed with my suitcase, my handy-dandy box of vitamins, herbs, and homeopathic remedies, three huge boxes of plays and vocal scores of every genre, twenty copies of my resume, and of course, my rapier wit, I make my way to North Carolina School of the Arts.

Let’s take a look at some classic back to school moments:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MILES MANDWELLE is an actor and musician wrapping up his summer gig in Washington, D.C. Next, he's headed to school in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Wish him luck!.
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GO, KATIE HOLMES, GO!

 Miles Mandwelle (Actor/Musician)

I never thought I'd say this in twenty million years...

But...

I'm kinda obsessed with Katie Holmes' divorce in the news these days.

I have to give her some serious kudos for not only taking the situation into her hands, but it looks like taking her life back as well. In a very, very big way.

Go you!.

Because of this, every time I walk by the Church of Scientology in Washington, D.C., all I really want to do is show my support for Katie by jumping on the lawn and singing this little ditty we used to all know so well…

 

One might think that people would immediately understand and join in, but the thought of doing it alone is kind of scary.

So....

I have two weeks left in DC before going back to school...

WHO WANTS TO DO IT WITH ME?

 

MILES MANDWELLE is an actor/musician living out of a suitcase, currently in Washington, D.C. He spends his days looking for theatre that will blow his mind and witticisms that will distract him from boredom.
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ARE YOU A MESS?

"Lesson of the week."
By Miles Mandwelle (Actor/Musician)

We’ve all put our foot in our mouths, professionally or otherwise, at some point. It’s part of the learning process.

When asking around for advice on how to conduct better professional conversations, my therapist left a message that said, “I don’t know, just say less!”

When I talk to people, ninety percent of the time I’m genuinely interested. People interest me. I give them my full attention. But sometimes I find myself at a professional venue working with someone I call a “wild-card.” Someone who can do something really awkward at any moment. I have been this person, I'm sure you have been this person...but if we all just watched our mouths, it would be less of an issue. ("Say less!")

Please let me take the time to note that there is a difference between “wild-card” and “hot mess.”

Taking a “hot mess” friend to a professional theatre function is akin to taking Charlie Sheen to a benefit for the Daughters of the American Revolution. Taking a “wild-card” friend to a professional theatre function is akin to having a landmine planted in your conversation.

Let’s take a look at some famous crazy, and celebrate our inner messes.

 

WHO ARE YOU TO PLAY SMALL?

"Lesson of the week."
Miles Mandwelle (Actor/Musician)

As a music director and pianist, I inevitably do a lot of vocal coaching. My favorite people to work with are actors, particularly those who don't consider themselves singers.

I had a client come in Thursday after work who really surprised me. She had apparently had a voice teacher at one point who apparently would begin every lesson by asking, "Do you really want to waste money on this?"

As much as it is awful working with an incompetent teacher, in this moment, I realized that even bad classes had served me well, preparing me for this moment. Sensing that my client's former voice teacher had a lot of personal issues, I let my intuition guide me. (My friend Carol Fox Prescott's motto on teaching is simply, "Love them.")

Focusing on the positive opens up a whole new world from which we can work.

Gingerly guiding my client through some basic exercises, I quickly realized she had an enormous voice that she was terrified to use.

This mirrors something I am currently working through myself. I recently played Mozart in "Amadeus," and while the production was well-received, I was unhappy with my work, until half-way through, I realized I was holding the role at arm's length out of fear; it was easier to judge. In the last scene of the last performance, I took a big risk, and it was tremendous and terrifying.

Such is the same with my client. One of my co-workers, an accomplished Broadway pianist, said to me,

"Who are you to play small? You do no one any favors by denying yourself the right to be talented."
(For the record, she was quoting Marianne Williamson)

Working from this place of positivity, my client improved very quickly over the session. I was amazed, not because I doubted her in any way, shape, or form, but because I am always doubting myself.

What are you denying yourself?

And now, for the nostalgia clip of the week:

 

MILES MANDWELLE is an actor/musician living out of a suitcase and traveling the country to work in theatre, currently stationed in Washington, DC. He spends most of his time looking for theatre that will blow his mind and witticisms that will keep him from boredom.
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THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY OF LORI BETH DENBERG

"If your phone rings, pick it up. If your butt rings, see a doctor"
Miles Mandwelle (Actor/Musician)

As a kid, more often than not, I was surrounded by pretty mean-spirited babysitters who forbid me from watching anything other than “Teletubbies.” But when their backs were turned, the channel immediately went to Nickelodeon, where I would savor every moment of my favorite television show, “All That.”While the performers, Josh Server, Kenan Thompson, Kel Mitchell, Amanda Bynes and others, were all great in their own ways, it was the fantastic Sassy McSassy-Pants, Lori Beth Denberg, who enriched my life with Vital Information, which I would joyously share with anyone who would listen. 

If this information wasn’t enough, we also needed to be reminded of proper library etiquette:

 

She also did double-duty, serving as a panelist on Figure it Out.

 

I would always quote “All That” and spew Vital Information to the joyless adults in my life, causing much ire. When grounded, I’d retreat into my room and listen to musicals, where Bill Finn would later remind me, “Sometimes joy has a terrible cost.” Thanks, Bill.

I would think of Lori Beth and her amazing-ness from time to time as the years passed, but having no idea that The Steve Harvey Show was even going on, I suspected heavily that something was rotten in the state of Denberg.

Then, during my junior year of high school, something miraculous happened. I was in the middle of the first of my strings of existential crises -- you know, the ones that suck the most, but make the rest of them easier -- and I happened to be at a showing of Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. It was there that I saw the most divine fifty-nine seconds of my life:

 

Faith. Restored.

In Lori Beth we trust.

 

MILES MANDWELLE is an actor/musician currently stationed in Washington, DC. He spends a majority of his time in search of theatre that will blow his mind, and witticisms that will distract him from boredom.
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HOW TO SAVE MONEY ON BIKRAM YOGA

"The Poor, Neurotic, ADD-Ridden Person’s Summer Guide to Bikram Yoga in Actual 105 Degree Heat."
Miles Mandwelle (Actor/Musician)

 

“I HAVE A VISION.
A VISION OF YOGA.”
-The Mom from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
 (in my dream last week)

When I arrived in Washington, D.C. a week ago to take a movement class before my job started, I had no idea that Sallie Mae was going to process my student loan payment twice on me. So when I went to the Bikram Yoga studio near my sublet, I was rather surprised when my card didn’t go through.

After endless calls to my bank and loan comopany, neither of whom gave a tinker’s damn, the heat wave began to take over, and I was suddenly inspired.

So, if you will, I present to you:

 The Poor, Neurotic, ADD-Ridden Young Man’s Guide to Bikram Yoga. 

You will need:

-Yoga mat or shower towel
-A handy-dandy print out of all 26 poses
-A bathing suit. Possibly the oversized one you stole from your father because you need a black one for your movement class.
-Several bottles of water. I like to freeze them first so they stay cold as long as you need them to be cold.
-If the temperature isn’t 105 F, the iguana lamp your mother gave you for Christmas one year to help with your seasonal depression (because the real ‘S.A.D. Lamps’ are too expensive and you would suffer for years before discovering the power of a daily dose of vitamin D), will do nicely.
-Lastly, you will need a space to do it. I happen to have access to a patio. Simply move your BBQ grill aside and get to it!

WARNINGS:
This work is done in bare feet, so make sure you enter your patio area with shoes, or make sure you can throw the towel/mat down close enough to the door so as not to burn your feet. Also, dirty feet, ew.

If you do Alexander technique, you will want to do your constructive rest beforehand.

Also also, if you’re self-conscious about your appendix scar or upper torso, you can leave on a shirt. It will get sweaty though.

 

1. Pranayama. Clasp your hands together, fingers intertwined, and put them under your chin, creating a gentle tension between your chin and hands, and the hands guide your chin back, as your elbows spread horizontally, like a baby blue bird attempting flight for the first time. The air will be muggy and gross, but you’re definitely want to breathe as you expand. And contract. Do this a bunch of times. Maybe ten.

Then stop. And do it five times.

Water. Because it’s hot. And since there’s no teacher leading the class, you can have a water break WHENEVER YOU WANT!

2. Ardha-Chadrasana Pada Hastasana. Or as I like to call it, “The Bendy One.” Palms together, over your head. Index fingers out. Yes, you’re sweating from your palms, and it’s dripping down the lengths of your arms. Oh, wait, your head is sweating too. Stretch to the left for a bit. Stretch to the right. You can do it again. Or you can get more water. Oooh, something shiny.

3. Uktanasa. My feet are burned from walking on the patio, barefoot so I’m going to skip this one.

4. Garusana. This one is totally, like, the tree of life. You have your left arm under your right elbow, and your hands clasped together. You’ll also try to wrap your right foot around your left leg and behin the calf. But if your feet are dirty and you don’t want sweat and dirt on your leg, you can settle for less. Hold for like, a minute. Then switch. 

Water. Because I have to sing tomorrow morning. 

5. Dandayanama-janushirasana. Ok. So. You’re supposed to stand on your left leg and make it really firm, then wrap all ten fingers around the bottom of your right foot and extend the foot out, but let’s be real. Your quads are terrible, and it’s easier to just go to the rolfer when you get paid next week. NEXT.

 

 

6. Dandayamana-Dhanurasana. This one is great for balance and those pesky inner thighs! Make your left leg super firm (like the last pose), reach out with your right hand for your right ankle and grab it! Left arm up, and extend out and over, almost like Super man, right leg and arm stretching back as the left arm stretches forward. It feels so good! Hold. Balance. Fall on your face. Laugh at yourself. Switch sides. Lather, rinse, repeat.  

Oh no! On your way to get more water, you stubbed your toe on the barbeque grill (it’s karma for eating meat again!), so you feel it’s necessary to skip ahead to positions on the floor.

 

19. Dhurasana. In Fitzmaurice voicework, Dhurasana is referred to as “the ribbon,” so it has a nostalgic college factor for me. What you do is lay on your stomach and grab both your ankles behind you, simultaneously pulling your ankles forward with your hands, and with your ankles, pulling away your wrists. You may be tempted to recite a line of text from A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

 

22. Ustrasana. Also known as “the camel.” You’re going to get onto your knees (with about six inches between kneecaps) and reach back to your heels with each hand, creating a nice stretch in your abdomen. You may be compelled to recite a passage from your imaginary best friend’s one-woman production of King Lear.

And it’s then you can really call it quits, because, let’s just face it, it's hot, there are too many shiny things and nothing is a substitute for an actual Bikram class, though the sweating and kvetching may be strikingly similar. Also you can’t get too tan because you hate it when your skin peels off. You return inside to a nice glass of water and curl up with a play on your Saturday off.

Namaste!