Crazytown

HEY NYC, WHERE ARE WE DRINKING OUTSIDE THIS SUMMER?

Mother's Day happened, Arrested Development Season 4 is about to happen (!!!!!), and I'd just really like a cold beverage.
By Alisha Giampola (Actor) 

It's finally almost Memorial Day, and while I'm just as guilty as the next New Yorker of spending most of the summer defaulting to Blockheads, this city is full of absolutely fabulous places to get your drink on al fresco. Not the least of which, of course, is Central Park. Read this and learn how to not get caught while guzzling champagne out of a Whole Foods bag.

Or you could just go ahead and skip any unnecessary steps and have a sensible flight of beer IN a Whole Foods, like fellow Crazytowner and classy lady Erin Sjostrom and I are about to do in this picture. 

Out of this fantastic selection, which place am I most excited about? Gallow Green, obvi. My obsession with Sleep No More knows literally no bounds. They also recommend a few places I personally have been and loved, including Berry Park, which makes some of the best Dark and Stormys on the planet. This list is also pretty thorough and because they also repeat-recommend both Gallow Green and Berry Park, I feel like we can trust it.

Outdoor drinking is one of the good things New Yorkers have to compensate them for having to live in the sixth circle of hell that is New York City during the summer. And by that, I mean that temperatures on the subway platform actually rival the sixth circle of hell. 

Drinking inside in the summer is great too. That most sacred of New Yorker experiences, Brunch, is a great thing to enjoy in an air conditioned space, since you probably are going to have upwards of 5 beverages in front of you (coffee, juice, mimosa, water, bloody mary, tea, etc) and also possibly an omelette. 

 
I used to really like this song. And then I waited tables for a while.

BEST OF HELL'S KITCHENETTE

A New York Magazine-style guide to the best of the neighborhood.
By Jen Littlefield (Choreogrpaher/Librettist)

As I count the days (23) til I move out of this convenient, expensive, busy, and always fun neighborhood, I thought I'd share some of my favorite things about it with you dear readers. Many of you have probably spent an evening or two on 9th ave, as it is the crossroads of all things gay and all things theater (I mean, how has a portal to Planet Unicorn not opened outside of Industry yet?), but allow me illuminate some of the less talked about places my friends and I like to frequent.

Casellula: My home away from home.

Good wine. Good cheese. Good people (the staff is amazing). Do I really need to say more? No, but I will. I LOVE Casellula. I love the wines. I love how every cheese comes with its own made-in-house paring, including things like pine nut brittle, or coffee-flavored marshmallows,  or pickled quail eggs. And the main dishes and desserts are out of this world. Try the Pig's Ass sandwich or the chocolate cake and cream. (Top reason why I'm broke and squishier around the middle)

House of Brews 51st: Best spot for birthdays

This location has an upstairs bar with a little lounge room that you can reserve for your party so you aren't annoying all the customers with your drunken toasts and this-is-my-day entitlement. Add to that a two-for-one or pitcher special during the week, all-you-can-drink mimosa brunch, and beer bongs. It's a little slice of hoppy-heaven

 

 

Worldwide Plaza: Best out-door spot in Midtown

I actually love this place the most in the late fall and early spring, when it's not quite warm enough for the Blockheads infestation. Grab a coffee and maybe some food, snag a table in the sun, and read or write or just sit and enjoy. (And I do enjoy the thrifty nature of Blockheads, but sometimes you don't want to eat with 25 people you know from that one show that one time, in that place… you remember right?)

The Hudson River Park, Midtown addition

I love to come over here and just be by the river. This is pier 96 at 55th st, and a little further north, the area opens up into a lazy river walk, a nice cafe with tables and umberellas, a good running path, and lots of grass. It's really beautiful and often not crowded at all. 

 

Vlada: Best happy hour

There are a plethora of gay bars in this neighborhood, and all have drink specials, drag shows, dim lighting (because we all need it, honey). But Vlada's is the longest, the strongest, and the tastiest (mmhhhmmm). All of their drinks are half-price from 4-9pm. Yes. 9pm. That's a lot of infused martinis for one gal to drink. But don't you worry, we do our best every Monday night. 

54 Below: Best new cabaret spot

I did a whole post in January on Backstage, the Tuesday late-night show, but this place is seriously the most fun. It's comfortable, inviting, a little expensive, but always a good time. And we get to see Linda Edder next week, so there.

 

The vegetable/farmers market on 52nd st: Best place to save a buck

If you live here or just want a quick piece of fruit, stop into Stiles Farmers Market on 52nd st. This place is so cheap, you could eat for a week on about $10. I'm only half kidding too. I will miss living right next to this little gem. (My mom was sure she was going in the stock-room door when she went to get us veggies, it's that fresh).

Oh 52nd st, you've done me well the past two years. I will miss the beautiful and tall drag queens parading around on Monday nights. I will miss the endless brunch options within two blocks of my apartment. I will miss getting calls from friends who are in the neighborhood and just popping by because I can. I will miss leaving my apartment at 7:45 to make an 8pm curtain with no trouble. I will miss my food-making boyfriend. And I will miss my little apartment on the 4th floor with it's sloping floors, tiny kitchen, and separate bedroom. UES, you got big some big, sparkly platforms to fill...

JEN LITTLEFIELD is a freelance choreographer and writer with a few steady teaching gigs at Pace University and Concordia Conservatory. As she's come to discover, freelance is code for constantly working, so she is also a single gal who lives and lives-it-up in Hell's Kitchen. www.jenlittlefield.com
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LIVE YOUR LIFE LIKE THE PERFECT DONUT

Words of wisdom from the Big Easy
By Jen Littlefield (Choreographer/Librettist/Fried Dough Lover)

So I kicked off my 30s-and-still-spring-breaking week with a 3-day trip to New Orleans. My friend Jill booked us a sweet hotel right near the river in the CBD (Central Business District), and we've been pretty great, if often sober, tourists*. We went on a ghost and vampire tour of the French Quarter, drank bourbon on Frenchman St (after eating at 13; delicious with a side of tater tots), walked around the Lafayette Cemetery and the Garden District (Ann Rice's house!), took a swamp tour (wild pigs and gators!), rode the trolly, and ate delicious food. A quick recap in visual form:
    *I walked down Burbon St for exactly one block before the despiration and intoxication drove me back to Royal St

THE PARENTS ARE ALL RIGHT

And they're staying in my living room.
By Alisha Giampola (Actor) 

My parents were in town this weekend. Having parents in town is the best, am I right? You get to pretend you're fifteen years old again. Checks get magically picked up, groceries get purchased, you mention something cute on sale while you're out walking around and suddenly you own it. Mom and Dad arrived at La Guardia at 5pm on Friday evening and by 8pm, my entire refrigerator was full, Easter candy was in bowls on our dining room table, and we were sitting at an Italian restaurant several blocks away from my apartment ordering fried calamari. I had time travelled back to the life I was living in 1999, minus the terrible haircut, and it was fantastic. 

In the movie of my life, the roles of my parents will be played by Meryl Streep and Paul Reiser. Not necessarily because they look so much like those people but because no one else could capture the emotional range of my mom and dad better than them. 

 

  Behold, my parents' spirit animals.

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH: THE WEEK IN REVIEW

Oh, Jackie. I love when you recap.
By Gregory Jacobs-Roseman (Composer-Lyricst) 

Today on the Ides of March, the fateful day when Julius Caesar met his maker at the hands of Marcus Brutus, I considered continuing my New York series of the past three weeks into a fourth installment devoted to the now overturned soda law – a development that made me quite annoyed this week. But so much happened this week – what with Mercury in retrograde or something, that I figured the time was right to do a week-in-review post. So here’s what went down this week by category, through the eyes of yours truly.

LOCAL/U.S.: Food Fight

Unless you were living under a rock this week, you heard that Mayor Bloomberg’s so-called “soda ban” (an awful name for the law) was struck down by a judge.

Everyone has their opinion on the law, but talking to friends and hearing the media this past week, it seems few people actually understood what the law was trying to accomplish. This law was aimed at stemming obesity in kids living in poorer neighborhoods of the city – kids who often buy their meals at fast food restaurants and other local establishments. I for one say limiting the amount of sugar and calories they can imbibe in one sitting is a good thing, and could have gone a long way to promoting healthy living.

But we live in America, and this story was ripe for media outrage. It was sold as if the government was telling adults what they could and couldn’t drink, which is the opposite of what it was going to do. No one was going to stop a grown adult from getting a refill on his or her 16-ounce soda. But don’t tell that to the anti-education, FOX News-watching yahoos out there, because in an effort to do nothing more than give a big middle finger to Michelle Obama and what Sarah Palin dubbed “fake America,” Mississippi lawmakers approved what they call the “anti-Bloomberg bill,” a law that bans Mississippi cities and counties from enacting legislation limiting portion sizes, banning trans fats & the like, or posting calorie counts on menus. Really, Mississippi? Hey, how’s that whole being the state in the nation with the highest rate of obesity thing working out for you? You better be thankful the healthcare law passed, otherwise your entire state would be diagnosed with a pre-existing condition.

It’s the children that really suffer in all this, and that’s what makes me crazy. A bunch of so-called “freedom-loving” adults are content to watch their kids grow overweight and develop disease just so they can enjoy their big gulps. I have yet to hear a convincing argument for why kids should be consuming that much sugar on a daily basis.

 
Here's the only kind of sugar you need (any excuse to include a little Hedwig). Also: are there any Musical Theatre songs about soda? I can't think of a single one.

WORLD: Does The Pope Shit In The Woods?

I'll have you know, dear readers, that I searched long and hard for a video clip of the "does the pope shit in the woods" quote from The Big Lebowski but it does not appear to exist online in a form I could find. There's this one from Californication but it's just not the same.

Did you hear? There’s a new Pope! Pope Francis was selected on Wednesday as white smoke rose from the Sistine Chapel chimney, and this guy reportedly walks the walk – the first ever Pope from the New World, he’s also a Jesuit which means he’s super into poor people or something and doesn’t even like fancy cars or those Prada shoes all the Popes wear.

Now here’s the thing: I was raised Jewish, I’m currently agnostic, gay, and a socialist, so I shouldn’t give two fucks about the Papacy. And yet, I’m also a student of history, so I can’t help but be in awe of the historical moment for a deeply flawed institution that has been around for centuries. Yeah. The dude is awful on gay rights and women’s rights and whatnot. But remember that this is the Catholic Church we’re talking about here. It took them 400 fucking years to forgive Galileo for suggesting the Earth revolves around the Sun. I’m not saying that gives them an excuse, I’m just saying this is an institution that doesn’t take kindly to change. A new Pope isn’t gonna suddenly catapult them into the modern era, and anyone who thinks he can is being a little naïve.

But hey, unlike the last guy, this one wasn’t a member of the Nazi youth. So, you know… that’s something.

Growing up Jewish and gay, this was my only exposure to Catholicism. Thus I assumed that all nuns behaved like this all the time. (Also, Rue McClanahan, I still love you.) 

GJR ON NYC, PART III: THE TIPPING POINT

True New Yorkers know their etiquette.
By Gregory Jacobs-Roseman (Composer-Lyricist) 

Initially I was going to sign off this three-part New York living series with a love letter to the city, a thanks-for-being-my-home-lo-these-past-eight-years-here’s-all-the-things-I-love-about-you kind of thing. But an “article” (I use that term loosely) surfaced this past week by a man named Kyle Smith on the website of a New York “newspaper” (I use that term even more loosely) which bought up a more pressing issue.

I am not providing a link to the article out of principal. If you wish to read it, simply Google the author’s name, or better yet: “horrible man insults the entire hard working wait staff of New York City” and I’m sure you’ll find it, but you can do that on your own time. I don’t want to provide a link for two reasons: one, I respect you too much as a reader of Crazytown to insult both your intelligence and sense of decency with said article, and two, it is my hypothesis that the aforementioned writer is nothing more than a troll who posted this drivel in an obvious attempt to shock and offend the reader and illicit angry responses like this one already circulating the internet, all the while driving up web traffic for himself. He will not be receiving any such pageviews redirected from a post by me. I can’t in good conscience play into such obvious games. What I would like to do, however, is use this opportunity to talk more broadly about manners and etiquette here in New York.

9th Avenue International Food Festival. Yes, that's a taxi caught in the middle.

Some 8.2 million people live in New York City. On any given day millions more travelers, tourists, commuters and the like flood into the streets of the five boroughs, swelling the number of humans per square foot (I couldn’t find a good estimate of the average daytime population of all of New York from a source that I trusted – if you have a good one, please send it my way). The New York City metropolitan area is the most populous in the United States as well as one of the most populous in the world. From a historical standpoint, this became true because the very geography of New York harbor made it ideal for shipping. Centuries later, here we are in a booming metropolis, where with so many people living in such close quarters you can’t walk five feet out of your front door without bumping into some asshole who’s so consumed by the conversation he’s having on his cell phone he can’t pay attention to what’s happening around him, so he knocks you over then yells at you as if it was your fault.

This person may be a New Yorker, sure, but this person certainly hasn’t learned how to coexist with the millions of other residents of the city – something that I’ve found to have been brilliantly described in this scene from Company:

 
“It’s in a person’s ass.” 2006 Broadway revival of Company. Raul Esparza as Bobby, Angel Desai as Marta.

There is a stereotype out there that all New Yorkers are all rude, resentful people. While we have our moments, nothing could be further from the truth. The vast majority of New Yorkers are actually kind, caring people – provided that you don’t get in our way. We give you directions. We recommend bars. We return cell phones we find in taxis. We open our doors and wallets, as well as volunteer our time when our neighbors are devastated by a natural disaster. To live properly in New York is to know that we are all in this together. It’s to have some manners and common courtesy toward your fellow human beings, no matter who you are, from Mayor Bloomberg on down.

 
And Mayor Bloomberg even rides the subway like the rest of New Yorkers! Thanks to my friend Julie Goldin who snapped this shot.

TIM MINCHIN DOESN'T THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL.

I mean, he thinks you're special, but you fall within a bell curve.
By Alisha Giampola (Actor)

In case you missed my first post here on Crazytown, you may not be aware that I think Tim Minchin is the bee's knees. He is hilarious. He is smart and funny and wonderful and some amazing hybrid comedian life form of Eddie Izzard and Michael Palin by way of Victor Borge, with influences of Samuel Beckett and Lewis Carroll. Yes. He really is that fantastic. Watch this. And this. And this, this and this. 

He dares you to find him crass and offensive. He DARES YOU.

DYDD GWYL DEWI

St. David is the patron saint of Wales. March 1st is his feast day.  Hence the Welsh title. Let's celebrate!
By Rachel James (Treasurer/Writer)

Today is St. David's Day.  Being of Welsh extraction, this is... actually... not something we celebrated.  My father would occasionally make Welsh rarebit.  And I remember my grandmother attempting to teach me "This Little Piggy" in Welsh (all I retained was "Weeee, weeee, weeee").  Rather than put a daffodil in my hair and dress up in red & white, let's watch some Welsh performers being awesome.

 

Yes, that's Ioan Gruffudd and Matthew Rhys reciting lyrics to Welsh folk songs on the beaches of Malibu.  Because they can.

 

Did I make a post about a Welsh holiday just so I could post a video of Dame Shirley Bassey KILLING it with "Goldfinger"? Yes. Yes I did.

 

Let's all forget The Tonys, and just remember Catherine Zeta-Jones like this.  Cool?

KIM & ERIN EAT CHEESECAKE (AND TALK ABOUT "REALLY REALLY")

The latest podcast episode where Kim and Erin discuss new work over a slice of cheesecake.
By Kimberly Lew (Playwright/Blogger)

For our second episode of Kim & Erin Eat Cheesecake (And Talk About That Show They Just Saw) in 2013, we decided to mix things up. In this very special episode, we ate cheesecake and a multi-layered crepe cake (Spoiler alert: it was delicious!) at Azya in the West Village and welcomed our first ever podcast guest, our friend Gabriella Miyares, a Junior Graphic Designer for Galison and also designed our very own podcast logo! She joined us to see a particularly special and rather buzz-worthy play, Really Really, which is playing at the Lucille Lortel Theatre. A new play by Paul Downs Colaizzo, Really Really tells the story of a college morning-after gone wrong where the aftermath of a typical rager includes a rape accusation and ever-changing allegiances as a group of friends try to piece together what exactly happened the night before.

Really Really has been a polarizing play for many audience goers, and it was probably the one that divided our opinions most out of everything we’ve seen so far. Join us for our discussion by clicking on the player below, and feel free to add your thoughts in the comments. Also, if you haven't seen it yet, the show just extended its run, so get on that! (Warning: podcast contains spoilers)

* Love Your Friends (Best Friends!) / CC BY-NC-SA 3.0

KIMBERLY LEW is a playwright with two published one-act plays for high schools, as well as full-length Searching for Candi (co-written with Gabriella Miyares), which debuted at Mt. Holyoke college. Her latest play, Other People's Children, was recently featured as a part of The Beautiful Soup Theater Collective's new works reading series and was a semi-finalist for the 2012 O'Neill Playwrights Conference. She also created/manages the Emerging Musical Theatre blog. www.kimberlylew.com
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ERIN SALVI is a Brooklyn-based writer who enjoys theater, drinking copious amounts of coffee, rocking out to David Bowie, and thinking about the space-time continuum. Her writing has been featured in The Expeditioner and My Dog Ate My Blog.
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THE MOST UNDERRATED CANDIES

By Jaye Hunt (candy scholar)

Today is my favorite day of the year: Half-Price Candy Day. Today the societal laws that govern how many candy bars you can buy at once without getting judgmental looks from everyone at Duane Reade fly out the window. But just buying the same candy every year gets boring after a while, so in honor of this most glorious day, here are the top five types of candy that you didn't realize you wanted to buy today.