I chose, and my world was shaken so what? The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not. You have to move on...
By Jen Littlefield (Choreographer/Librettist)
Today is the day! I'm all packed up and ready to leave my cute little one-bedroom in Hell's Kitchen. The movers will be here between 1 and 3pm and my room on the UES is empty and waiting. And so is the next chapter of my life here in NYC.
I, like many people in this business, measure my life in moves. At 18 I moved to North Hollywood to pursue a dance career. At 20 I moved to Hyde Park to go to the University of Chicago. At 24 I moved to Williamsburg to perform in NYC, but soon rediscovered my love of choreography and teaching. At 30 I moved to Hell's Kitchen just to change it up and to live in Manhattan. And now at 32, I'm moving to the UES to save money, reconnect with my oldest friend, and write.
For the longest time I thought it was the move itself that promoted the change. That it was the new city, the new goals, the new jobs propelling me ahead in life. But like the all-knowing, all-seeing Sondheim tells us, it's the choosing that matters, regardless of the of the outcome. It was never about the where, or even the why, because the end result often looked very different than the original reason. We must make decisions in this life. To stay, to go, to start over, to push through, to find that thing that makes us smile right now, regardless of what made us smile yesterday. And don't get me wrong, it's the MOST scary. But they say (and I believe them whole-heartedly, whomever they are) that the only choices you regret are the ones you never make.
So lets' choose together. Let's take this (finally) beautiful weather and decide to say yes even and especially if we don't know what will happen. Because if you can know where you're going, you've gone. Live in the journey a little, and let that curve ahead that you can't see around guide you where it will. If you will, I will too. :-)
JEN LITTLEFIELD is a freelance choreographer and writer with a few steady teaching gigs at Pace University and Concordia Conservatory. As she's come to discover, freelance is code for constantly working, so she is also a single gal who is moving to the Upper East Side and plans to meet all the straight men she can. They've been so rare in her life... www.jenlittlefield.com
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